"How do I get my loved one to do Fat Kid Dance Party Aerobics?"

The most common thing I hear from thin folks about Fat Kid Dance Party Aerobics is “I wish my loved one would do your class!”

I deeply appreciate this enthusiasm! But I also cringe inside because I know “getting someone” to do a class is not how you can effectively encourage your loved one to pursue movement!

I know this from personal experience. Growing up fat, I was taught my body was a failure and that I needed to pursue thinness at all costs. I was in Weight Watchers at 8 years old.* I learned that movement and dance were punishments for having a body that was a failure.

No amount of external intervention did anything for me but create shame.

Shame doesn’t create change. It creates depression, anxiety and suicidality. When I felt like a failure, like who I was wasn’t enough, like the one body I was gifted could never be enough, I was not inspired to pursue anything but covering up that shame with addictive behaviors and co-dependency.

If you love your family member, friend, whoever you think “should” change and “should” be healthier, LEAVE THEM ALONE ABOUT IT.

The single best thing you can do for someone else you want to pursue health goals is pursue your health goals.

Do an honest assessment of where you’re at in your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. It’s very likely you have a few “shoulds” on that list that you could be pursuing.

Also, if you think your loved one “should” do Fat Kid Dance Party consider doing it yourself! Folks at all levels of fitness have done my class and gotten so much out of it. Truly, minimum participation is showing up and cheering along. I’ve had folks who do Iron Man triathalons that find my class a good cardio challenge!

The perspective I teach from—that all bodies are worthy of love exactly as they are—is sadly, uncommon. I assure you that I say things you will apply to your own life and glow up from it. No matter your size.

YOU join me! And tell your loved one about what YOU are getting out of it. Don’t expect anything from their reaction.

In this spirit, gift certificates for the 4 video workout pack are Buy One Get One Free for the rest of quarantine. Grab one for yourself and gift it to someone who might want to do a virtual self care hang with you!

Or join my live zoom classes and party with us in the virtual zoom room!

If you want to hear my deeply vulnerable thoughts about this process, I talked about it at length on my podcast. Content warning, I had a friend choose to end their life via suicide recently whose mental health practices I badly wished I could have changed for them. But I couldn’t change them, that change had to come from them.

*I love my mother, she did the best she could as a single, hard working mom! However, as a health professional with a lot of comrades who work with folks recovering from eating disorders—WW is a common root for the majority of their clients. Don’t put your kids in it if you want them to be healthy, thriving adults. Instead model for your kids what it looks like to prioritize your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. They learn way more from what you do than what you say or force them to do.